So many things are changing in a matter of days. Ana left yesterday for basic and I won’t be able to talk to her until the last week-ish of January. I thought I was going to be just…really really sad but I’m not. Her confidence in the fact that this is a good decision is probably what is keeping me positive. She is so sure that this is what she needs to do and I really couldn’t be more proud. I just hope she ends up stationed somewhere really cool so I have something to look forward to during my visits!
And a friend that I thought was super close to decided to tell me five days before hand that she is leaving for California tomorrow. I knew she was leaving(albeit a little late and by rather weird terms) but I just didn’t know when. And yeah, while I was busy preparing myself for Ana leaving I might have left her out but I figured I’d have another month to deal with it and to try and figure out how to spend some time with her before she left. Now all the time she has is today and I don’t even know if I want to put forth the effort.
What good will come out of not telling me when you’re leaving? It makes me wonder if I hadn’t asked if she would have even told me. I don’t know if I am in the right but that’s just how I feel. I know over the summer I was way too busy but ever since we started college (2 years ago, wow) we tried to make up for missing so much time together while we attended different high schools. We had lunch all the time and I miss hanging out with her and her insight. I will miss her while she’s gone even if she makes it feel like she could care less.
But I’m over it now because I guess it just doesn’t matter anymore. I shouldn’t have to feel bad for not being able to spend time with her if she never told me when she was leaving. So, enjoy your time out in California. I hope it is all you dream it to be and that you stay safe. If you write, I will respond, but don’t expect me to go out of my way if you didn’t go out of yours.
I just talked to one of my good friends Mary who used to be really good friends with California with me. I told her the whole story and even after California won’t accept her apology for something that went down during high school, won’t really give her a chance, and got mad at me at one point for still talking to Mary, all she said was, “Wow! Good for her!”
And while it didn’t make me any less upset about the situation it made me love Mary just that much more. Despite everything that happened between the two of them she still wants what is best for California. She even said when I first told her about the move that she was hoping to meet up with California over Christmas break to try and patch things up…still…after trying at least twice prior. Mary restores my faith in people.